BSC Special Edition: Logan's Story

By Ann M. Martin, ghostwritten by Peter Lerangis. Published June 1992.

Yes, the assholes actually do show up at the health fair in football gear.
Douchebags!

Oh my gosh, you guyz!!! We get to go inside the head of a totally hot boy!!! A totally hot boy baby-sitter!!! What could be sexier than that!?!?! Aren’t you just totes excited!?!?

Anyway.

So yes, this is a Special, apparently much requested, Edition of the BSC, with Logan as the narrator. Scintillating prospect, isn’t it?

So Logan starts off by being all manly and shit, with football practice, and talking about working out for track tryouts, too. But he’s got a terrible, not-so-secret, secret. He’s also a boy baby-sitter! Say what?! The other guys don’t know he’s actually a member of the club, though. Logan insists he’s not just a member because he has the hots for Mary Anne. But, that is part of it.

It doesn’t take long for Logan’s “voice” to start irritating me. Lerangis just seems to be trying too hard to make Logan seem cool and nonchalant. Which some thirteen-year-old boys do. But some thirteen-year-old boys are really annoying. Only some, though.

Logan’s looking forward to dinner with his family; they’re barbequing. But just as they’re getting ready, Kristy calls, sounding very serious and somber, and ask Logan to join them at an emergency meeting, before their usual one. And when Madame President calls, you don’t say no.

When Logan gets to club headquarters, Mary Anne is about to cry. Oh shit, of course. They spend a long time beating around the bush, but what it comes down to is this: Jeff’s appendix ruptured (that does really suck, love you Jeff!) so Dawn and her mom have jetted off to Cali to be with him. And so the girls need Logan to not only take over most of her jobs, but her officer duties (whatever those might be) as well. He says yes of course, but never says anything and is never asked about any prior commitments he may have. That bothers the shit out of me. So already, on his first day, he’s going to have to miss a practice so he can sit for the Hobarts.

He’s only taking care of the two younger boys, and they pretend to be camping out in the front yard. A couple of guys from the football team, including Pete Black, some along and make fun of him. Aw, Pete, I thought better of you than that!

At his next meeting, Kristy’s come up with a Great Idea™! There’s a health fair coming up, and Kristy thinks they should have a booth! She doesn’t know what they’ll do yet, though. It takes them a ridiculously long time to come up with the idea to hand out pamphlets with safe baby-sitting tips. I hate the word duh, but…duh. They also talk to Dawn after the meeting, and they learn she’ll be staying a while longer. So the girls need Logan longer. And so he’ll be missing yet another football practice.

Mary Anne sits for the Prezzioso girls, and decides to take them for a walk to SMS, where she knows Logan is practicing for track with a few other guys. The guys give him a bit of a hard time, but then concentrate on their running. During their race, Jenny is yelling all sorts of things, and really getting on Logan’s nerves. Then, all of a sudden, Jenny is on the fucking track, causing the guys to have to swerve to avoid her, and they all end up in a heap on the ground. Mary Anne freaks, thinking Logan is pissed at her, but he’s not. He’s just all sorts of annoyed with Jenny. Really, Logan? Maybe you should be annoyed with the person who is responsible for the fucking four-year-old running off. But maybe that’s just me.

Logan has yet another job with the Hobarts, three of them this time. He takes them to the track, and they have a lot of fun, until a bunch of Logan’s “friends” show up, and start giving him a hard time about baby-sitting. So Logan and the boys leave, but the Hobarts totes understand, having been teased about shit themselves.

Logan is glad when he finally gets back to football practice. But he has to deal with a shit ton more teasing, and he’s pissed off at himself for being out of shape. He finally snaps, and tells everyone to STFU. They back off, at least. Mary Anne was there to see it all (seriously, she’s a bit of a creeper in this book), and walks him home. He apologizes for being grumpy, but doesn’t invite her inside. She is clearly disappointed, but he just wants to be by himself. Hunter and Kerry can tell something is wrong, though, and try to cheer him up, and it works. But he knows he’s going to have to choose baby-sitting or sports, and he knows he won’t make Mary Anne happy.

So, there was something totally obvious that the BSC did not think of. The health fair sounds completely boring to the kids. I hate to do this, but again, duh. Jessi and Mal sit for the other Pike kids, and it takes a freaking act of Congress to get them out the door. I don’t really blame them.

Everyone ends up having a great time, of course. Except Logan. He has the Hobart boys AGAIN, and runs into the football bullies, AGAIN. They’re assholes, and then Johnny says something about needing the bathroom. Pete (oh, Pete!) says something about him needing the potty. Johnny’s having none of that shit; he’s a big boy, dammit! So when they reach the bathroom, he insists on going in by himself. Logan makes Mathew go in with him, though. But of course, they somehow lose Johnny anyway. Kristy gets pissed, y’all! After searching for fifteen minutes, Mary Anne waves them over to their booth. There’s Johnny, along with Clarence King, the assholiest of the bullies. He’s the one who found Johnny.

It pains him, but Logan thanks King. They then throw some barbs at each other, and it’s just silly at this point. After King leaves, Kristy’s not mad anymore. She says it could happen to anyone. But Logan is feeling like shit. He says he can’t do any of this anymore, and he probably can’t even be an associate member. Deuces, ladies. I assume (hope?) he finishes his current job, at least.

At Logan’s first practice after quitting, some shit goes down, but after that, they mainly cool off. There’s still a couple of assholes, but by the day of track try-outs, Logan has figured out how to deal with it. Just act like it doesn’t bother him. Well…duh. I can’t believe I’ve said that three times.

Logan’s big event is the hundred yard dash, and just as they’re lining up, Logan hears his cheering section. It’s the whole BSC, the Hobarts, Jenny (is that REALLY a good idea?), Charlotte, a few Pikes, and Hunter and Kerry. For the love of all that’s holy, can’t y’all just leave well enough alone?

But, Logan says that what would have used to bother him a while ago doesn’t now, and he’s glad they’re there. Especially when they cheer him on to victory, beating that asshole King. So he makes the team! Yay! And some of the guys think the BSC girls are hot! Double yay!

A few days later, the Bruno’s are getting ready to have another barbeque dinner, and Logan thinks of the last time. He’s so caught up in nostalgia, he calls and asks Kristy if he can come to the meeting. Of course he can! They set up someone else with a job at the Hobarts’, and Logan longs to take it, but he has track practice then, and he knows he can’t miss it. Good job, Logan, finally showing a little commitment to your team.

But…he just can’t quit you, BSC. He wants back in, but only as an associate member again. That he can handle. Of course the girls accept that. Where’s his damn pizza toast?

As Logan and Mary Anne leave the meeting, the Hobart boys call out to Logan, so he runs over, and they all start tickling each other. But, uh-oh, King and the other boys are coming along on their bikes! Shit! But, nothing happens. King just says what up, and rides on by. Aww. And all was right in Logan’s world.

o   Random question: What time do y’all eat dinner? Logan’s family seems to eat just after five. That’s really early to me, unless there’s something happening that night. I typically have dinner ready at 6:30. Late enough to be hungry, early enough to eat and clean up before TV shows start. Priorities, y’all.

o   I’m from Texas, and a football freak. Logan missing all those practices is just sacrilege to me.

o   The woman in charge of the health fair is Ms. Bernstein. Is she Emily Bernstein’s mom? I love Emily!

o   About the pamphlets: “Mal’s dad had been able to get someone at his office to type them up on the laser printer and staple them together.” I’m not exactly sure you understand just what a printer does…

o   Btw, Jeff survives, and Dawn comes back with a super dark tan. Not all your time was spent helping your brother convalesce, huh, Dawn?