Girl Talk #25:Horse Fever

By L.E. Blair. Published 1991.

So the girls are chilling at Fitzie’s, as they are prone to do. Sabrina finds an ad for horse riding lessons. She gets all excited, like she does, and tries to get the other girls interested in taking lessons with her. Katie’s too busy with hockey. Sabrina gets slightly racist on Allison, telling her she’s Indian, so she must love horses. Allison shuts her down, saying her people were more into canoes. Randy surprises everyone with her knowledge of horses. She used to ride in Central Park. But she says no to lessons, and acts all weird about it.

Randy tells her mother about it when she gets home, and her mom offers to pay for half of the lessons if she wants to do it. But Randy brushes her off.

The next day at lunch, Sabrina is still carrying on about horses, and trying to get the others to change their minds. Randy surprises everyone, including herself, by saying she’ll do it. After she gives in, Allison decides to give it a shot, too. Sabrina says they can start the next day.

Their instructor is the sixteen-year-old son of the owners, Richard. So boy-crazy Sabrina is totally happy. Richard goes over parts of the horse, tack, and grooming. It’s a bit boring if you’re a Saddle Club reader. But Randy impresses Richard with her knowledge. She’s attracted to one horse, Thunder, and Richard tells her he’s hard to handle, a bit of a rebel. When it comes down to assigning horses, Randy has the choice of Thunder or Pumpkin, a very easy horse. She wusses out and chooses Pumpkin. Allison is suspicious.

Allison gets the whole story out of her the next day at the mall.  Back in the day, while riding through the park, Randy’s horse got spooked and bolted. When it came upon a fence, the horse jumped and Randy didn’t go with it. She fell off and was knocked unconscious.

At their next lesson, they take a long time getting the bridles and saddles and whatnot on the horses. Then, finally, it’s time to actually get on. Sabrina ends up in the dirt the first time. But she gets it the second, and Allison has no problems. But Randy completely freezes up at first. But she shakes it off, and is able to mount Pumpkin.

Randy goes to the stable on a day when she doesn’t have a lesson, bringing carrots with her. She gives one to every horse, saving Thunder for last. He won’t take the carrot from her; she has to leave it on the door and turn her back. And then he won’t let her pet him. Randy’s ok with this, though. She knows it sometimes takes people a while to warm up to her.

After a few visits, though, Thunder will take the carrot from Randy, and let her pet him.

At their fourth lesson, a girl named April’s horse can’t be ridden, so Richard suggests Randy ride Thunder while April rides Pumpkin. April, who does having riding experience, insists she can handle Thunder. But during the lesson, Thunder bolts, and April falls. Fortunately, she’s not very hurt. Unfortunately, Richard’s dad says they’ll have to get rid of Thunder, since he can’t be ridden.

Randy sets off for another visit, and Allison tags along because she knows Randy is going to try to ride Thunder. Fortunately there’s no one around at the stable. Randy freaks out a bit trying to mount him, but she gets on. Thunder is very tentative at first, until he reaches the pasture, that is. Then he bolts. And just like the time in Central Park, Thunder jumps, and Randy falls. Allison runs to her, and Richard appears out of nowhere. But Randy just ends up laughing, making them laugh, too. Thunder comes back and nuzzles Randy. She gets back on him, and Richard tells her to make Thunder turn left. She does, and he does it perfectly. Randy has him do a bunch of different things, and finds he’s really easy to handle. She offers to work with him, but Richard says his dad’s not going to change his mind.

The Telephone Talk chapter is just Randy calling each of the girls and inviting them over to watch videos and eat pizza. It’s pretty pointless.

They have and end-of-lessons horse show, and the morning of, Randy is pounding away at her drums, working off some energy. She realizes Thunder needs the same thing. Once he got to run for a bit, he was fine.

Not long after Randy arrives at the stables, April comes in with her parents, and shows Thunder to them. She wants her father to buy him, so she can ride him in competitions. Randy is upset; she knows April has no idea about how to handle him. Richard can tell she’s dismayed, but says there’s nothing they can do.

Of course, Randy’s not just going to take that. So she saddles Thunder up, and tests out her theory. They gallop out to the pasture, and just run for a bit. Then they head back to the stable, and make a grand entrance by jumping over the fence into the show ring. This time Randy stays on. Then she takes him through his paces. Each student is supposed to go through all the gaits, make the horse go in different directions, and jump over small obstacles. Really? Max would totally not approve. We all know how he feels about jumping; you have to have been riding a year first at Pine Hollow.

After the show, April wants Thunder more than ever. But Richard’s dad intervenes, saying that since it is now obvious Thunder can be ridden, he is no longer for sale. April gets bitchy, and is all, Whatever, I’ll get another horse and win all the prizes. But Randy’s not going to take that shit, and says she’s going to compete with Thunder. So there.

So I guess Randy’s all in on this horse thing now. Will she keep it up? We’ll see.

o   Did anyone actually like hot tea when they were younger? I thought it was gross. Randy drinks it, and I find that odd. This question is probably not for those in the UK, or other places where tea is more traditional.

o   So Sabrina’s horse is obsessed with her hair, and tries to eat it. Allison suggests she wear a hat, and Sabrina thinks “one of those English riding hats” might work. You mean, they weren’t wearing helmets already? Isn’t that usually mandatory?

In other, unrelated news, I’ve started a Pinterest for the blog. So come get your nostalgia on! It will continue to grow, I promise. I’m a bit of a Pinterest whore.

Girl Talk #14: Earth Alert!

By L.E. Blair. Published 1991.

Allison looks fierce, y'all.

Allison is at her locker one day, when a guy with long blond hair and wearing tie dye comes up and introduces himself. His name is Arizonna. Yes, with two n’s. Spellcheck hates this. He thinks Allison’s idea for an Earth Alert Fair is very cool, and he wants to help. Every year the seventh grade holds a fair to raise money for charity, and Allison came up with the Earth Alert idea. So she also got put in charge. So far the only help she has is Sabrina, Katie, and Randy. And now Arizonna.

At lunch, Sabrina has more info on Arizonna. He’s from L.A., and he surfed for gym class. So obviously, he’s totes awesome. Billy, a broody guy Allison tutored a while back, comes over and offers to help, too. And then he gets all jealous about Arizonna helping. Allison doesn’t see it, but the others do.

In the locker room, Stacy the Great is bitching about how lame the Earth Alert Fair is going to be. She wanted a Romance Fair. Ok, then. Then Randy points out Arizonna is helping, and Stacy and her friends think he’s a hunk, so maybe they should pretend to be interested in the environment.

The whole group meets at Fitzie’s (where else?), plus Sabrina’s brother Sam and his friends. Sabrina has major pull over them. They come up with all sorts of ideas for the fair. They’ll play Native American inspired games, including Hacky Sack. Holy shit, when was the last time you even thought about Hacky Sack? It was so damn prevalent in the 90’s. They’ll also have natural foods, and Randy’s band, the Iron Wombats, will play, but using only instruments that don’t require electricity.

Arizonna and Billy will be helping Allison with the games. I’m sure this is going to turn into a major pissing contest. Arizonna walks Allison home, and tells her she’s his first Minnesota buddy, and gives her a friendship bracelet. Allison tries to tell herself it’s nothing special.

Allison and Randy go in to talk to Mr. Hansen about their budget the next day, and find it’s pretty much gone. Stacy the Great appointed herself co-chair of the committee, and spent most of the money on rides, like a roller coaster and a Ferris wheel and stuff. Holy shit, can you imagine how expensive that must be? The girls are super pissed, not only because of the money, but because the rides will use gas and be bad for the environment. Anyway, they only have two hundred dollars left. They call an emergency meeting that afternoon, but Billy quits, because Allison was talking to Arizonna too much. Sigh.

They’re supposed to have a meeting at Sabrina’s house on Saturday (which is only a week before the fair, btw), but Stacy and her cronies have called a separate meeting at her friend Eva’s house, and have neglected to tell our girls about it. Bitches. But they head over there, and Allison takes charge. It’s good for her. They get the new girls on various committees, and get it all planned out.

At the end of the meeting, Arizonna asks Allison to a movie after the fair. She doesn’t really want to, but says yes anyway. Her friends ask, what about Billy, though? Allison realizes she needs to tell him herself, and goes over to his house and does so. He’s like, why the fuck are you telling me this? You want a medal? He actually says that, it’s hilarious. Allison explains that she likes Arizonna, but only as a friend. That seems to change everything; Billy does a complete 180, and offers help with the food for the fair. He says it would be cheapest if they make it themselves. Well, ok then.

So during Telephone Talk, Katie comes up with an idea for Allison to get out the date with Arizonna, without hurting his feelings. He should date another girl, and realize for himself that he only wants to be friends with Allison. And Sabrina’s the perfect girl, because she thinks he’s totally cute. All the girls approve this convoluted plan.

So Sabrina shows up at school wearing her best version of California Cool. And she studied up on surfing, and talked with Arizonna all the way to school, and during lunch. But Arizonna gives Allison another friendship bracelet.

Stacy and Eva show up in all the homerooms pre-selling tickets for the fair, even though it had been agreed that they weren’t going to do that. And they’re holding on to all the money, which will probably just go to paying for the rides, and not the recycling program Allison wanted.

Friday night, everyone except Billy and the Bitches (sounds like a band name) show up at Randy’s to cook. They get a lot of work done, but Allison is disappointed Billy’s not there. He does finally show up after three and a half hours, and tells Allison he didn’t really want to come, because he knew Arizonna would be there. But Allison is so happy to see him, that it’s all good.  And then, Arizonna comes up to talk to Allison, and says he can tell Billy is her special friend. And he thinks maybe they shouldn’t go on their movie date while he’s hanging out with Sabrina. So, holy shit, their ridiculous plan actually worked. Arizonna also admits to Allison that he knows Sabrina has no idea about surfing.

It’s Saturday, and the fair has been open for an hour, but nobody is at the soccer fields, where Allison and crew are, they’re all on the football field, where the rides are. Boo. But then the Iron Wombats start playing, and Sam and his friends begin a game of Hacky Sack. Suddenly, it’s three hours later, and they’re all out of carrot juice. They make Allison get onstage, and she gives an impassioned speech about the environment. Everyone cheers for her. It’s a huge success.

At the end of the fair, the Bitches have disappeared, and there’s a huge mess to clean up. Even though all the kids seemed into the environment, they still littered everywhere. Assholes. But the remaining kids help, and the hockey team shows up, too. That’s nice. So they get it all cleaned up. But when they head over to Fitzie’s later, Allison is all bummed, because the other kids don’t actually seem to care at all. She wanted to help change the world, but it didn’t work. Arizonna tells her the answer is to think globally, act locally. And that is your PSA of the day.

So the girls decide to picket outside the school, against the use of Styrofoam in the cafeteria, and have them switch to recycled cardboard trays instead. Mr. Hansen comes up and tells them they should have gone through proper channels, and picketing is against school rules, and they all have detention. The guys all stand beside them, and they get detention, too. Allison tries to pull out some free speech and First Amendment shit, but it doesn’t get her anywhere. Mr. Hansen says they still have detention, but he applauds their dedication, and says maybe they can talk about it. Everyone cheers, except Stacy, who just gives major bitch-face. Allison thanks her friends, and thinks they’ve really made a difference.

o   Why DID they just go straight to picketing, without, you know, trying to talk to someone first? They just wanted to be dramatic, I guess.

o   There’s no follow-up as to whether there was any of money that they had raised left for the recycling program.

o   Sorry I’ve skipped quite a few books in the series. I just don’t have them all.