The publication date of this one is really a bit outside our
time, I was seventeen, but it’s Ramona.
And it’s the last Ramona. Boo and
bullfrogs.
There is a forty-four year difference between Beezus and Ramona and Ramona’s World. Damn, but our girl has
staying power. But we knew that already.
In “Ramona time”, however, it’s only been five years, making
her nine and starting fourth grade. She’s pretty sure it’s going to be the best
year of her life. She’s got new baby sister, Roberta, to tell all about at
school. Her teacher, Mrs. Meacham seems nice, and she makes friends with a new
girl, Daisy Kidd. But the best part of her day comes, when they are asked to
write a paragraph about themselves. Ramona uses the time to mainly talk about
how awesome Roberta is. Ramona knows she makes some spelling mistakes, but
figures Mrs. Meacham will know what she means. Y’all. Ramona may have been
taught by Claudia. Same sort of mistakes. At least Ramona has the excuse of
being nine. But still.
However, it doesn’t appear to matter, because Mrs. Meacham
chooses Ramona’s paper to read to the class. Ramona is over the moon, and tells
her mother about her day excitedly when she gets home. She flips through Mrs.
Quimby’s copy of Moby Dick, and
decides her writing is better. Take that, Melville.
However. The next day, all the words Ramona misspelled are
written on the board. Ramona tries to argue that it shouldn’t matter about
spelling if people understand the meaning, but Mrs. Meacham does not agree, and
everyone laughs at Ramona. Ramona decides she does NOT like Mrs. Meacham.
Daisy, at least, is nice to Ramona about it. But Ramona is in a bitch-ass mood
by the time she gets home. It’s made worse by her mother telling her to stop
using the word “stuff”, Beezus being perfect, and Roberta being adorable. Mrs.
Quimby finally gets it all out of Ramona, and it does make her feel better, but
she’s not ready to admit it yet. She sticks her tongue out at Roberta, who
sticks hers out, too, and smiles. THIS works on Ramona, and she gets excited
thinking about everything else she can teach Roberta.
And things get better for Ramona. She’s been thinking that
Daisy is pretty cool, wishing she had long hair and braces like her. She even
does the whole unfolded paper clip thing to see how she would look. I totally
remember doing that. So Ramona can hardly contain herself when Daisy invites
her over to her house after school. Daisy has a great life. A not-too-clean
house, a cool mom, an older brother, Jeremy, who only teases her a little, a
dog, and a cat that likes to be vacuumed. The girls eat juice bars, pop bubble
wrap, and watch their favorite soap opera. Best of all, they decide to be best
friends. Aww, y’all, I’m so happy for Ramona. She’s been needing a bestie.
Beezus comes home excited, with an invitation to her friend
Abby’s party. There’s going to be boys and dancing! Woohoo! Beezus is a bit
nervous about the dancing bit; she doesn’t know how. Ramona tells her not to
worry, it looks easy enough. One day Beezus goes shopping, and comes back
wearing a head scarf. She’s gotten her ears pierced, y’all. Ramona is like, Oh
shit, it’s about to get good, now! And Beezus comes out all defensive, saying
it was her own money, and her own ears, and kind of lets it all out, saying
she’s tired of being plain old responsible Beezus, and she wants to look nice
for once. Ramona says she’s never heard her sister like this, but it reminds me
of the hair cutting adventure back in the day to me. But anyway, her parents
actually don’t freak out at all. Ramona thinks about Beezus growing up, and
wonders what it will be like for her. She feels like it’s like reading a good
book; she wants to know what happens next.
But what happens to Ramona next...ahhhh! She's done a lot of
cringe-worthy things in her young life, but this is the worst. I’m honestly not
sure I could have survived this at her age.
Ramona goes over for another afternoon at Daisy’s. The two
play dress-up, putting on long dresses and heels. Then they pretend to be a
princess and a witch, with Daisy trying to trap Ramona in the attic. There are
only a few boards across the joists to put stuff on. The girls are play
fighting, and in the struggle, Ramona loses her balance, and…falls right
through the lath and plaster floor. Or the ceiling of the dining room, however
you look at it. She catches herself halfway down, grabbing hold of a joist.
Daisy calls for help, and Ramona can hear Mrs. Kidd and Jeremy reacting
downstairs. They’re both upstairs soon enough, and Jeremy is able to pull
Ramona back up, scratching her legs all to hell in the process. She’s so happy
to be back on solid ground, she starts crying. But then starts freaking out in
her head. This is going to cost a ton of money to fix, money her family doesn’t
have, and she’ll lose her first best friend, and it’s just all terrible!
But Mrs. Kidd is awesome. She consoles Ramona, understanding
it must have been scary, and then gets her all patched up. Then she offers to
take Ramona home early, which is exactly what Ramona would like. Daisy
apologizes for pushing her, and Ramona admits they were really both at fault.
So they’re all good. And during the ride, Ramona asks how much it will cost to
fix, and Mrs. Kidd tells her not to worry about that, insurance will cover it.
And it’s an excuse to paint the dining room. So that’s a relief.
Once home, Ramona realizes she has one hell of a story to
tell. As she tells it, it gets more and more dramatic, until Beezus guesses
what happens, and totally steals her thunder. She says she’s heard it happen
before, like it’s no big deal. Her mother does worry that she could have been
really hurt, and Ramona kind of plays that up, but there’s really just not that
much of a reaction. My parents would have been flipping the hell out, mad at me
for it happening, and worrying about paying for it. But there’s no mention of
that from them. It’s weird to me.
It’s finally time for Beezus’ big party. She been freaking
out, getting her father to teach her how to dance, but she’s worried it will be
too old-fashioned. She spends all afternoon getting ready, and winds up with
this:
Oh, Beezus, you are too adorable.
Anyway, Beezus shouldn’t have worried. There’s no dancing.
The boys don’t even freaking come inside. So the girls play games and with
Abby’s mom’s makeup samples. Her mom is upset about the boys; this whole thing
was about making Abby popular. Beezus says she and Abby have come to the conclusion
that they’re not popular types. And Beezus is more than ok with that. Rock on
with your bad self, Beezus.
One day, good ole Yard Ape drops a note on Ramona’s desk.
But Mrs. Meacham is on that right away, reads it, throws it away, and adds
something to the list of Words to Work On. Yard Ape spelled Ramona “Ranoma”.
She thinks it’s cool they all have to learn her name that week. Everyone teases
Yard Ape about likin Ramona, and she’s secretly quite pleased. Though she wants
to know what the hell that note said!
Her spelling overall is not going that well. And Mrs.
Meacham won’t let them use words like gonna and wanna. So when Ramona and Daisy
see “gonna” used in a newspaper ad, they’re appalled. They decide to write to
the owner, a CPA, and let him know how they feel. A week later, Ramona gets a
letter back, thanking them and telling they’re absolutely right. They must be
very smart girls. They are so excited, and bring it to school. Mrs. Meacham
loves it, reads it to the class, and hangs it up.
One day, Mrs. Quimby asks Ramona to feed Roberta while she’s
on the phone. It’s strained peas, and Roberta is not thrilled about it. She
spits out a whole mouthful into Ramona’s face, throws her cup, gets her hands
in the food, and puts it in her hair. Ramona is grossed out.
The next day is picture day. Yard Ape goes right before
Ramona, and asks the photographer if he ever gets tired of saying cheese. He
does, in fact, and so tells Ramona to say peas instead. Ramona has a traumatic
flashback, and makes a terrible face just as he takes the picture. She’s
worried, but manages to convince herself he got a good shot of her before she
made the face.
Ramona gets to cat-sit for Daisy’s cat Clawed for a week. He
comes to stay at the Quimby’s, and Ramona’s excited until she sees all his
equipment, and is reminded about litter boxes and stinky cat food. One day
during his stay, Mrs. Quimby asks Ramona to watch Roberta for a few minutes
while she picks up Beezus. Ramona is overjoyed at the responsibility. But
Roberta gets herself in trouble, sticking her head in a hole in Clawed’s kitty
condo, and getting herself stuck She starts crying. Ramona freaks out a little,
but mainly stays calm, and gets Roberta to calm down, stop crying, and is able
to get her out. All before her mother returns.
They get their pictures back, and it’s just as bad as it can
be. Everyone in class laughs at her, and so does her family. They make her feel
better about it though.
Valentine’s Day comes, and Mrs. Meacham gives them the whole
speech about how everyone must give a valentine to everyone else. Ramona makes
a few special cards for her close friends, then addresses the store bought
ones. She leaves Yard Ape’s for last, and finds out she doesn’t have any more.
She can’t make him one, then everyone would know she likes him. She explains
her dilemma to Beezus, and she tells her to just give him one of her pictures.
He won’t know if she likes him or is being funny. Good solution, Beezus.
She watches Yard Ape open the envelope, smile, and put the
picture in his pocket. She opens what she got from him. It’s just a sheet of
paper that says: “If you are eating peas, Think of me before you sneeze”.
Ramona is charmed, an original poem! They smile at each other. Aww.
It’s Ramona’s birthday! She’s ten! Aww, our little baby has
grown up. She’s decided to have her party at the park, and have a cake with
whipped cream instead of frosting. The only bad thing is that she has to invite
all the girls, including the ever-annoying Susan.
The girls all give Roberta attention when they first arrive.
But it’s all back on Ramona when she opens presents, so it’s all good. Yard Ape
and his friends randomly run at them, scaring Roberta and the other girls.
Ramona thinks they’re ridiculous. Then it’s time for cake. Susan turns down a
piece, saying she has an apple instead. Her mother read that spit flies on to
the cake when you blow out the candles. Some of the girls start to not eat
theirs, either. Ramona is furious. But Daisy talks sense into the others, and
they all eat. One of them says. “So there, Susan”, and she bursts into tears!
She cries that nobody likes her, while everyone likes Ramona, even Yard Ape.
And she’s tired of having to be perfect all the time. Ramona actually feels bad
for her, her enemy since kindergarten.
They all make Susan feel better, and she even has some cake
with no whipped cream. Then the girls all go to play, while Ramona helps her
mother clean up. They have some cake left, and Ramona, spotting Yard Ape and
his friends, suggests they let them have it. Like ten-year-old boys would ever
turn down food.
The boys sing Happy Birthday to her, and Ramona gets all fluttery
that Yard Ape sang “Dear Ramona”. After they eat, Yard Ape makes sure to say
thank you, and then as they leave, Ramona and Yard Ape totally flirt, y’all!
Well, for ten-year-olds. I bet they totally “date” in middle school.
As Ramona runs off to play with her friends, she’s feeling
pretty damn good, and decides the day is just about perfect.
And that’s the last we ever see of her.
Oh, Ramona, I will miss you so. Keep being you, girl. You
rock. I can’t wait to introduce you to my niece.
o
Ramona is so badass. Her great accomplishment is
having the toughest callouses on her hands from the rings at the playground.
The girls all compare theirs. I always get unnecessarily proud of mine, too.
o
So…yet another instance of a kid (Beezus is
fourteen here) getting her ears pierced without a parent present. And using the
piercing gun again.
o
When kids get all their spelling words right,
they get “Reward Words” to work on. These are really hard words. Ramona sure as
hell doesn’t feel rewarded when she gets these. I feel you, Ramona.
o
My favorite quote: “I am a potential grown-up.”
o
So, at Ramona’s school they each get a sheet
with small pictures of everyone else. I guess it saves the pain in the ass of
cutting each small picture out for each of your friends. But it was such a
status thing; at least it always was at my schools. Did anyone else have it
Ramona’s way?
o
Good lord, I’m ready to not read and write about
valentines any more.
o
Now that we’ve travelled this great forty-four
year span with Ramona, we’ve covered quite a few eras, from the mid-fifties to
the late nineties. What time period do you picture the Quimbys in? The one
they’re published in? Is it always the same, or do you adjust with each book?
Or maybe it’s mainly the era you yourself were in when you first read them. I
think that’s what it is for me.
