When Happily Ever After Ends

By Lurlene McDaniel. Published February 1992.

Shannon Campbell leads a pretty damned charmed life. She lives in a wealthy section of Chattanooga, where her parents own a stable. She just received an amazing Thoroughbred, Blackwatch, for her fifteenth birthday. And she had a long conversation with the hot new stablehand, Zack. Aww, yes.

Of course, this is Lurlene; we know this won’t last. The title probably leads us to that conclusion, as well.

Shannon has a good time at her birthday party, opening presents and showing off Blackwatch to her Pony Club friends. The only downsides are that her bestie Heather acts weird for a little while, and her dad disappears. Apparently this is not uncommon, as he has struggled with depression.

Shannon can’t wait to start training Blackwatch with her father the next day. Her dad seems better for a while, but after a bit says they should get her mom to help train, too. This is completely out of the ordinary, but her dad insists. Then he gets all weird and moody, and leaves. That night, Shannon goes down to the barn, where her father startles her, and then scares her talking about how life is a nightmare. He just wants to be left alone.

Her dad goes out of town for a few days, but still comes back all moody. So Shannon’s been working with Blackwatch by herself. One evening, she invites Zack to go riding with her. They ride bareback to a nearby stream, and Shannon learns more about him. When they get back to the stable, Shannon is happy to see her father there, unpacking some things from his old army trunk. She calls to him, and he freaks the fuck out, yelling at her to never sneak up on him.

He apologizes immediately, but still wants to be left alone. Shannon asks what he’s doing; he replies he’s just getting his things in order. The things in the trunk are from when he was in Vietnam, including a pistol a friend left him.

Shannon has lunch with her grandmother at the hospital, where she’s a very serious volunteer. She even has an office there. She’s quite concerned about her son’s mood, too. Shannon meets a friend of her grandmother’s, Madeline, who works as a counselor at the hospital.

One day, Shannon goes through her father’s desk looking for stamps. Instead she finds a note he’s written, about how lonely he is, and how he wishes he could crawl out of his skin and be free. It scares Shannon, but she tries to put it out of her mind.

Her father refuses to go to a competition in Nashville. Shannon and her mother plead with him, but he won’t go. He seems to be in a fantastic mood, though, giving them a big, happy sendoff. But when they return late that night, Shannon and her mother find him slumped over his desk, in a pool of blood.

Shannon flips out so much, that she has to be tranquilized, and wakes up the next day in the hospital. That’s where she learns from her mother and grandmother that her father killed himself. I assume this is only a surprise to the unobservant characters in the book.

They have the funeral a few days later, and Shannon is hurt Heather doesn’t come. And then she gets really pissed reading a newspaper article on her father, particularly when it says he suffered from severe depression. She tries to put some of the blame on Zack, because he had been there earlier the day her dad killed himself. Then she takes off on Blackwatch.

Shannon confronts Heather about ditching the funeral, and she’s got all sorts of excuses, like her mother thought she was too young, and she didn’t know what to say. Boo Heather. Shannon’s mom has been sleeping a lot in the week since the funeral, but when Shannon goes in to see her, she agrees it’s time to get up and get the stable back to normal.

Shannon works hard with Blackwatch, trying to get ready for the upcoming show in Knoxville. She gets Zack to help her move fences and watch her form. Then they have a very flirty time washing Blackwatch, with water and stuffing each other’s clothes with hay. Nothing else happens, but it was all good.

Shannon has lunch again with her grandmother, this time at the country club. Her grandmother is happy she’s keeping busy, and insists she and her mother come to the charity ball for the hospital that she’s planning. She mysteriously starts to say “If only-“ then stops herself. Shannon wishes she would share.

In the spirit of getting back to normal, the Pony Club goes on its annual camp-out. There, Shannon and Heather finally make up. Heather explains that it scared her, that something like that could happen to a family that was so perfect; what could happen to hers? She also admits she was jealous of Shannon receiving Blackwatch, and talking with Zack. So Shannon forgives her.

At the Knoxville show, Shannon makes some mistakes. She’s humiliated, and says Blackwatch wasn’t ready, and it’s all her father’s fault for leaving her. She says she’s not competing again. And back at home, she does indeed stop training Blackwatch. She goes through her dad’s trunk, and finds medals, as well as scraps of paper he had written while he was in Vietnam, describing how horrible it was. She realizes she never really knew her father.

Shannon attends the charity ball on her own. She sits with Heather and her family, but gets jealous of Heather being with her dad. But her grandmother has a surprise for her; she’s invited Zack. Shannon is happy to see him, but she doesn’t really want to be there anymore. So they leave, and go for a moonlit ride. Shannon takes him to a place on the edge of the mountain, a place she’d only been with her father. She opens up and talks about her dad some. Then they dance, and Zack kisses her.

Shannon goes on her yearly back-to-school shopping trip with her grandmother, and then spends the night at her condo. They talk about Shannon’s father, and her grandmother tells her of the guilt she feels over not letting him go to Canada during Vietnam.

Shannon finally decides to do something proactive, and goes to talk to her grandmother’s friend, Madeline. She’s able to get some of her feelings out, and Madeline suggests some support groups. Madeline also explains what depression really is quite well. Zack, who gave her a ride, comments that she seems to be in a better mood on the way home.

But when she gets back to the stable, there’s bad news to face. Blackwatch has developed laminitis, a disease of the hoof. Blood congests in the hoof, and causes swelling and pain. He could get better, but if not, he’ll have to be put down. The vet gives him a shot, and then the only thing they can do is keep his hoof packed in ice. Shannon vows to stay up all night with him, and her mom and Zack will switch off staying with her.

Zack takes the first shift. They talk about how he lives with his grandmother, because his parents are raging alcoholics, and just dropped him off and left him. He pretty much says Shannon is lucky because while she doesn’t have a dad anymore either, and she knows where he is. Your story really sucks and all, Zack, it really does, but that’s a bit insensitive. Shannon doesn’t seem to mind, though.

When her mom takes over, they get to talk like Shannon’s been wanting to all summer. Finally Shannon passes out, and when she wakes up, her grandmother is there, as well. Shannon tells them that she went to see Madeline, and she thinks they should all three join a support group. They agree to.

Blackwatch doesn’t seem to be any better. She tells Zack this when her comes in, but says that she is feeling a lot better. And that it’s a beautiful day to be alive. Except maybe for Blackwatch, right Shannon?

And then we jump ahead what I can only presume is a few months. Shannon is back in the ring competing, and aside from wanting her dad to be there watching her, everything in her life is pretty much back to normal. Oh, and the horse she’s riding? It’s Blackwatch! Yay! I couldn’t have handled it if she’d killed him off, too.

o   How’s this for romantic? Zack says, “If I had an Oreo, I’d give you the frosted side, too.” Aww, yeah. That’s the way into my heart.

o   How typical of me. I get more upset over Blackwatch than I do Shannon’s father.

o   I was honestly a little surprised, and maybe even a bit offended, at the way Shannon reacted to the paper saying her father had severe depression. Like it was some terrible thing to be ashamed of. I’m so not ashamed of my own depression that it just never even occurs to me that it might be shameful to other people. Big shoutout to The Bloggess for having a hand in the way I think about it.

Dawn Rochelle #3: So Much to Live For

By Lurlene McDaniel. Published 1991.

That is some mighty fine early 90's fluffy hair.
THIS is how Stacey's hair should be.

Y’all, it’s been six months since we’ve caught up with our girl Dawn Rochelle. And I mean real, blog-time six months. Remind yourself of her plight here and here.

We start back with cancer camp. Dawn’s a CIT this year. She didn’t really want to go. She really just wants to be done with this cancer shit, and none of her old friends will be there. Sandy’s dead, of course, Mike is in college, and Greg moved.

But it doesn’t look like she’ll be alone for long. At their orientation meeting, there’s this blond guy that keeps smiling at her. He looks familiar, but she’s sure she’s never met him. During a break, she heads down to the lake, and random boy follows her. Turns out, he’s Sandy’s older brother, Brent. He’s there to be a CIT for this camp, and then the one following, for siblings of cancer patients. Dawn gets a little judgey, wondering why they need a camp, it’s not happening to them. Brent’s all, Bullshit. They talk about Sandy of course, and Dawn gets really sad. I really think Dawn could have used some therapy after Sandy died.

A few days later, the campers are due to arrive. Dawn gets Brent to help her get bunches of flowers and put them on each of the girls’ beds to make it homey. Then it’s time to meet her campers. She rounds up five of the six, ages ten to twelve. The only one missing is thirteen-year-old Marlee. Dawn takes the others to their cabin, but when they get there, it’s a mess, everything strewn about. And on Dawn’s previously made bed, is Marlee, with a hell of a bad attitude. Dawn takes control though (which I consider impressive considering she’s only two years older than Marlee) and gets Marlee to make up her own damn bed, and Dawn’s too.

On the way to the bonfire, Dawn gets the rundown on Marlee from Dr. Ben. She’s from Columbus, like Dawn, has non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, has had two operations, an artificial eye, and lives with her grandmother, because her parents are dead. Yeah, I’d say she has plenty to be angry about.

Brent has a way to pull her out of her shell a little bit. He gets her to dive, and he tells Dawn later that she’s really good at it. But later, at one of their “rap sessions”, Marlee refuses to talk about her story, and runs away. Dawn goes after her, but Marlee brushes her off.

Dawn tells the girls about her pranks on Dr, Ben in prior years. They ask her what she’s going to do this year, but she says she can’t, since she’s a CIT. But she tells them they can do something. They’re not too sure about that.

They have a fifties dance, and Brent embarrasses Marlee by asking her to dance, but Dawn says it’s a good thing. Brent and Dawn dance, and then run out to the woods. They almost kiss, but get caught by Dawn’s campers.

Back in the cabin, all the girls except Marlee are playing with makeup, and get Dawn to talk about boys and kissing. The girls try to get Marlee to put on makeup, but she gets pissed and goes outside. Dawn follows her, and finally gets her to talk. Marlee thinks she’s ugly and defective. She tried putting on makeup after her eye surgery, but it went terribly, made a huge mess, and she’s never tried it again. Dawn tells her it’s like anything else, and just takes practice. Marlee agrees to go back in.

On the last day, they have their Camp Olympics. Dr. Ben gets pulled into the mud pit during tug-of-war, and starts a mud fight. Even Marlee gets into it. That night, Dr. Ben hands out the awards. The most coveted is the clean cabin award, because the winners get a pizza party. Dawn’s cabin wins, and Marlee goes up to accept their prize. All of a sudden, something hard and small falls to the floor, and Marlee starts yelling her eye fell out. Dr. Ben tries to get it, but then tons of marbles fall on the ground, and he doesn’t know what to do. Marlee’s all, Got you, mothafucka! But Dr. Ben winks at Dawn, and she knows he wasn’t really fooled at all.

Dawn finally gets her kiss from Brent, alone in her cabin after her campers have left. Aww, yeah. They promise to write to each other. Going into the main hall later, Dawn finds Marlee all alone, waiting for her ride. She says her grandmother has health problems. Marlee asks Dawn if she’ll write to her, and Dawn tells her since they live in the same city, Marlee can call her. Then a freaking limo pulls up; it’s Marlee’s grandmother’s chauffer. Oooh, fancy.

Dawn gets back to her regular life for the summer, working with her friend Rhonda at an ice cream parlor. But one night Marlee calls her, and tells her she’s in the hospital. Dawn finds her in a nice private room the next day, by herself. She tells Dawn she hasn’t seen the doctor yet; they’re running more tests. Her grandmother makes an appearance, and tells Marlee she’s having a specialist come in. Marlee begs her to not let them cut into her anymore. It upsets her grandmother, who says she’s not feeling well. Dawn offers to stay with Marlee.

Dawn lends Marlee her teddy bear, Mr. Ruggers, to keep her company while she’s in the hospital.

A few days later, Marlee has seen the specialist. She’s happy because they won’t be doing another operation. She’ll be doing radiation and she’s got a morphine drip. She says once the tumor in her stomach has gone down, she’ll get to go home. Something about this doesn’t sit right with Dawn, and she tries to get information from Katie, Rob’s girlfriend who still works as a nurse on Marlee’s floor. But Katie says she can’t tell Dawn anything, and Marlee’s grandmother is the only one who can. So Dawn finally gets up the courage to talk to her, and Marlee’s grandmother tells her she has tumors pressing on all her vital organs, and that she won’t be going home.

When Dawn goes in to see Marlee, she’s cranky and trying not to use too much morphine. It makes her too sleepy. She says she can also tell her grandmothers and doctors aren’t telling her everything.

Dawn quits her job so she can spend as much time with Marlee as she can. One day she finds Marlee asleep, but she wakes up to talk to her. They talk about Brent, and Marlee tells her that she dreamed about him kissing her. Then she asks Dawn not to tell her grandmother know she’s never going home again. She tells Dawn she’s scared, and doesn’t know what’s waiting for her. Dawn tells her about Sandy, and says she knows she’ll be friends with Marlee. Now might be a good time to mention her parents being there, too, but there’s no mention of them.

That night, Marlee falls into a coma, and dies two days later. After the funeral, Marlee’s grandmother gives Marlee Mr. Ruggers and a small box, and thanks Dawn for being there for Marlee. The box, of course, holds Marlee’s ashes from the bonfire. So now Dawn knows she’ll have to return to camp at least one more time.

o   This book was so dull, there is no random shit. Not “so much to live for”. *rimshot* Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

o   Seriously, I’m ready to get to One Last Wish and the Amish books.