Ok. So. The movie. Oh, the movie.
First off, there’s no Paul, like AT ALL. He’s just dead at
the very beginning. Cathy was not a raging bitch hell-bent on revenge, blaming
Corrine for every damn little thing. Chris had a fucking random fiancé. Julian
was not Julian. And Bart Winslow was NOT Bart Winslow. Ugh.
I get that movies can’t be just like the books (although try
telling me that back in the Harry Potter days…lord) but seriously, it’s like
they just glanced at it five years ago, and kind of reconstructed what they
remembered.
Anyway, here are my thoughts, live as they happened.
Still confused about the ending to #FlowersInTheAttic
Henny is NOT as big as Cathy made her out to
be. Cathy was a fat-shamer. #PetalsOnTheWind
Henny TALKS? Wtf? #PetalsOnTheWind
I kinda get the time difference because of
the actors, but fucked-up timeline is fucked-up. #PetalsOnTheWind
And are they really having us believe Cathy
is starting her ballet career at twenty-fucking-five?!?! Whatever. #PetalsOnTheWind
Who the hell is this broad? #PetalsOnTheWind
Seriously, Heather Graham
has crazy eyes down. #PetalsOnTheWind
Julian is not quite how I pictured him. I
guess I envisioned more raw manliness. #PetalsOnTheWind
Creeper Chris. #PetalsOnTheWind
Whatever. Ten years have passed and they've
never had this conversation or done anything? #bullshit #PetalsOnTheWind
But I guess this leads to ten years of built
up tension. #PetalsOnTheWind
"What's the matter?" "I just
slept with my fucking brother!" #PetalsOnTheWind
Well, Julian's certainly creepy. #PetalsOnTheWind
So...what happened to Cathy actually not
being that interested in Julian? #PetalsOnTheWind
Again, who is this broad? Are we just trying
to add the Chris' screen time? #PetalsOnTheWind
Carrie, believe me honey, you don't want him
to love you the way he does Cathy! #PetalsOnTheWind
I never pictured Cathy being so passive. #PetalsOnTheWind
So Cathy doesn't get to be the Best! Ballerina!
Ever!? Sad. #PetalsOnTheWind
Damn, I at least wanted Cathy to get crazy
jealous over random girl. #PetalsOnTheWind
*Snort. The fuck, Julian? #PetalsOnTheWind
Ok. Don't even get me started on how much
that is NOT Bart Winslow. #PetalsOnTheWind
THAT was the torturing of Carrie? Little
hooded girls blindfolding her and putting her on the roof was so much better. #PetalsOnTheWind
Well. Ok. So that happened. #PetalsOnTheWind
Lol they just leave their show! #PetalsOnTheWind
So much for any sort of a
"tortured" Julian. I guess they didn't have time after Random Girl
and Corrine's redecorating. #PetalsOnTheWind
Oh. Yeah. They never got married. So that's
two marriages Cathy misses out on. #PetalsOnTheWind
Really? One bite kills her? That whole scene
was hilarious. #PetalsOnTheWind
Ok. Really now. Did anyone read the book? #PetalsOnTheWind
Ok. In the book he raped her. But this isn't
really Bart Winslow, so I guess it doesn't matter. #PetalsOnTheWind
Random Girl's voice just gets more annoying. #PetalsOnTheWind
Can we all just deal with this? Chris is
ENGAGED to Random Girl. W.T.F? #PetalsOnTheWind
No Henny. God's not going to forgive them. #PetalsOnTheWind
Well Chris is having a GREAT week. #PetalsOnTheWind
No whipping of The Grandmother?!?! So
disappointing. #PetalsOnTheWind
Ok. Gratuitous handjob. Whatever. #PetalsOnTheWind
wtf is Bart wearing? #PetalsOnTheWind
Well, he was quick to believe that. #PetalsOnTheWind
This is so bad, but I'm loving it. I want a
new VC Andrews movie every week. There's enough of them. #PetalsOnTheWind
This whole last bit is nowhere near as
dramatic as the book. They really could have done it well. #PetalsOnTheWind
Is it Cory? #PetalsOnTheWind
Maybe? Not quite clear. #PetalsOnTheWind
Yes, it is Cory. Nice. #PetalsOnTheWind
Well that went up fast. Damn. #PetalsOnTheWind
They ARE so perfect. Lulz. #PetalsOnTheWind
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