Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Petals on the Wind Live Tweeting Transcript

Ok. So. The movie. Oh, the movie.

First off, there’s no Paul, like AT ALL. He’s just dead at the very beginning. Cathy was not a raging bitch hell-bent on revenge, blaming Corrine for every damn little thing. Chris had a fucking random fiancĂ©. Julian was not Julian. And Bart Winslow was NOT Bart Winslow. Ugh.

I get that movies can’t be just like the books (although try telling me that back in the Harry Potter days…lord) but seriously, it’s like they just glanced at it five years ago, and kind of reconstructed what they remembered.

Anyway, here are my thoughts, live as they happened.

Still confused about the ending to #FlowersInTheAttic

Henny is NOT as big as Cathy made her out to be. Cathy was a fat-shamer. #PetalsOnTheWind

#SpoilerAlert Wasn't Carrie already dead when Paul died? #PetalsOnTheWind

Henny TALKS? Wtf? #PetalsOnTheWind

Sure, Corrine abuses prescription drugs. Why not? #PetalsOnTheWind

I kinda get the time difference because of the actors, but fucked-up timeline is fucked-up. #PetalsOnTheWind

And are they really having us believe Cathy is starting her ballet career at twenty-fucking-five?!?! Whatever. #PetalsOnTheWind

Who the hell is this broad? #PetalsOnTheWind

Seriously, Heather Graham has crazy eyes down. #PetalsOnTheWind

Julian is not quite how I pictured him. I guess I envisioned more raw manliness. #PetalsOnTheWind

Creeper Chris. #PetalsOnTheWind

Whatever. Ten years have passed and they've never had this conversation or done anything? #bullshit #PetalsOnTheWind

But I guess this leads to ten years of built up tension. #PetalsOnTheWind

"What's the matter?" "I just slept with my fucking brother!" #PetalsOnTheWind

If nothing else, I love @baileybuntain as Carrie. I adored #Bunheads #PetalsOnTheWind

Well, Julian's certainly creepy. #PetalsOnTheWind

So...what happened to Cathy actually not being that interested in Julian? #PetalsOnTheWind

Again, who is this broad? Are we just trying to add the Chris' screen time? #PetalsOnTheWind

Carrie, believe me honey, you don't want him to love you the way he does Cathy! #PetalsOnTheWind

I never pictured Cathy being so passive. #PetalsOnTheWind

So Cathy doesn't get to be the Best! Ballerina! Ever!? Sad. #PetalsOnTheWind

Damn, I at least wanted Cathy to get crazy jealous over random girl. #PetalsOnTheWind

*Snort. The fuck, Julian? #PetalsOnTheWind

Ok. Don't even get me started on how much that is NOT Bart Winslow. #PetalsOnTheWind

THAT was the torturing of Carrie? Little hooded girls blindfolding her and putting her on the roof was so much better. #PetalsOnTheWind

Well. Ok. So that happened. #PetalsOnTheWind

Lol they just leave their show! #PetalsOnTheWind

So much for any sort of a "tortured" Julian. I guess they didn't have time after Random Girl and Corrine's redecorating. #PetalsOnTheWind

Oh. Yeah. They never got married. So that's two marriages Cathy misses out on. #PetalsOnTheWind

Really? One bite kills her? That whole scene was hilarious. #PetalsOnTheWind

Ok. Really now. Did anyone read the book? #PetalsOnTheWind

Ok. In the book he raped her. But this isn't really Bart Winslow, so I guess it doesn't matter. #PetalsOnTheWind

Random Girl's voice just gets more annoying. #PetalsOnTheWind

Can we all just deal with this? Chris is ENGAGED to Random Girl. W.T.F? #PetalsOnTheWind

Well, that's better, I guess. #yayincest #PetalsOnTheWind

No Henny. God's not going to forgive them. #PetalsOnTheWind

Well Chris is having a GREAT week. #PetalsOnTheWind

No whipping of The Grandmother?!?! So disappointing. #PetalsOnTheWind

Ok. Gratuitous handjob. Whatever. #PetalsOnTheWind

wtf is Bart wearing? #PetalsOnTheWind

Well, he was quick to believe that. #PetalsOnTheWind

This is so bad, but I'm loving it. I want a new VC Andrews movie every week. There's enough of them. #PetalsOnTheWind

This whole last bit is nowhere near as dramatic as the book. They really could have done it well. #PetalsOnTheWind

Is it Cory? #PetalsOnTheWind

Maybe? Not quite clear. #PetalsOnTheWind

Yes, it is Cory. Nice. #PetalsOnTheWind

Well that went up fast. Damn. #PetalsOnTheWind

They ARE so perfect. Lulz. #PetalsOnTheWind

Twitterverse, this has been fun. So ready for #IfThereBeThorns #PetalsOnTheWind

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