Anastasia’s back, y’all! Now she’s twelve, five foot seven,
and has just received some bad news. Her family is moving to the suburbs.
Anastasia says she’d rather be dead, and comes up with all sorts of reasons why
moving to the suburbs is a bad idea. Awesome Parents tell her she’s making
unreasonable assumptions. Anastasia says she never makes anything, not since a
potholder in third grade.
Another “problem” of Anastasia’s is her little brother Sam.
He’s not like other two year olds. He speaks in complete sentences, and has
quite a vocabulary. Anastasia says he’s weird, and it will be a disaster to
move him to the suburbs.
Anastasia and Awesome Parents make a list of the things they
want in a house. Anastasia hopes if they can’t find a house that meets their
requirements, they’ll just stay put. She says she wants a house where she can
have a room in a tower.
A boy from school, Robert Giannini, calls Anastasia one day
and asks her to go ride bikes by the river and look for junk. Anastasia thinks
he’s weird because he carries a briefcase all the time. But she gets adorably
nervous about what she’s going to wear, her hair, and what they’re going to
talk about. They have a pretty good time, but Anastasia mistakenly gives him
the impression that Sam is deformed.
The family is going to go look at a house. Anastasia and Sam
come up with a plot where he’ll cry and say he’s allergic to the house. But
when they get there, everyone falls in love with the house. It has everything
from their list.
When they move, Awesome Parents suffer from Post-Move
Depression. Awesome Mom can’t find the pitcher, so Anastasia offers to go next
door with Sam and ask the neighbors if they have one. Sam says a witch lives
there, he saw her looking out the window. When they get there, Anastasia can see
why he thought that. Her name is Gertrude Stein, but Sam calls her Gertrustein.
She’s prickly with Anastasia, but she likes Sam. The two make a date to go
walking the next day.
Anastasia decides to buy Gertrustein a goldfish, because
she’s lonely. When she gets home, she returns a call from Robert. She knows the
number by heart, because she looked it up a hundred times. But only because she
was bored. They have an awkwardly cute conversation.
Anastasia takes the goldfish over to Gertrustein’s. She
seems to like her present, and names him Mr. Stein. She tells Anastasia the
story of the real Mr. Stein, who left thirty years ago after three years of
marriage. Gertrustein doesn’t miss him at all. Anastasia and Gerturstein are
more friendly now, and Anastasia offers to do Gertrustein’s hair for her.
This conversation, however, leads Anastasia to worrying that
she’ll have to marry Robert one day, because he’s the only boy who likes her.
After Awesome Mom soothes her fears about this, a tall, good-looking boy rings
the doorbell, and offers to mow the lawn. His name is Steve Harvey, and he and
Anastasia will be in the same homeroom. They make plans to play tennis after he’s
done with the lawn.
Anastasia’s friend Jenny calls, and she learns Jenny’s been
hanging out with Robert. They get a little pissy with each other, but they get
over it. Jenny tells her she and Robert will ride their bikes over to
Anastasia’s the next weekend. Anastasia worries about Robert meeting the
non-deformed Sam. She tells Awesome Mom her troubles, and, instead of getting
mad, she suggests he go over to Gertrustein’s for the day.
Anastasia tells Gertrustein she needs to make some friends,
but she says she doesn’t like people. Anastasia just thinks she’s scared. Then
she gets an idea. She goes down to the Senior Drop-In Center, and tells the
people there about Gertrustein. Fourteen people say they would be glad to meet
her, and they make plans to go to Anastasia’s on Saturday afternoon. Anastasia
wonders what she’ll tell Robert and Jenny. She tries to get Awesome Mom to call
Jenny and tell her she has leprosy, but she won’t do it.
Sam is being annoying with a flashlight, turning it off and
on, and saying “FLASH.” He and Gertruestein
are going to play a game called Flasher. Anastasia helpfully informs him what a
real flasher is.
Through a confusing mix-up, Awesome Mom knows a group of
Anastasia’s new friends are coming over, but she doesn’t know they’re senior
citizens. She’s half afraid they’re a gang and will be arriving by motorcycles.
Saturday arrives, and with it Jenny and Robert. The girls
can’t believe Robert is wearing rain boots, which Anastasia calls rubbers,
which makes me giggle.
The senior citizens show up, and although there’s confusion
to begin with, it settles down into a really fun party. Awesome Mom calls
Gertrustein to come over, and she brings Sam. She’s a little put off at first,
but then gets into it. Steve Harvey and his family drop by to meet Anastasia,
and they’re welcomed into the fun.
When things begin to quiet down, they hear Sam coming down
the stairs. He appears in the doorway wearing his raincoat. He, of course,
flashes everyone, which brings a close to the party.
o
I would feel weird about having a full, mature
conversation with someone while changing their diaper, no matter how young they
are.
o
Anastasia throws out the creepy orangutan poster
when she moves.
o
Room porn: In her room at the apartment,
Anastasia has wallpaper that was blue and white, with people riding
old-fashioned bicycles on it; some of them playing flutes and violins while
they rode. Their names are Stanley and Sybil. Awesome Mom checks, and they’re
still making it, so she orders some. Before that, though, Anastasia begins
pulling off the wallpaper that’s already there. There are three layers of it.
o
Sam flushed Frank the First goldfish down the
toilet. They held a memorial service. Anastasia played taps on a harmonica, and
her father sang.
o
Anastasia is disappointed her new library
doesn’t have her favorite book on leprosy. She liked to check it out every few
months to make sure she didn’t have leprosy herself.
o
When Gertrustein first tells Anastasia about Mr.
Stein (the person) she also tells her about her real true love, Edward, who
lived in Anastasia’s house. When Anastasia gets down to the last layer of
wallpaper, she finds “Edward loves Gertrude. Always” written there.
No comments:
Post a Comment